Third xi Report 2011

The North Somerset League fixtures in 2011 provided Failand and Portbury with close games most weeks of the season. Of eighteen fixtures, three were abandoned, we lost eight, we tied one game against a previously unbeaten Bristol Indians and we won five games. As a captain I only presided over a winning team once, as I missed four games which were all won in my absence.
This season the pitches were more bowler friendly than in previous years, but nevertheless we were still able to pass 200 on eight occasions, which is no mean feat. This year the thirds were indebted to a handful of players, with less players contributing to the teams’ overall good fortune.
Sam Gunarathne was the standout player for the thirds. He scored 2 hundreds and only just missed out on a third by 3 runs. He was man of the match in four games out of the five wins and one tie. Dan Chapman scored a glorious hundred without which we would not have beaten lowly Barrow Gurney which effectively guaranteed our survival. Steve and Jamie Fear bowled us to victory against Harptree, when our hosts were dismissed for just 69.
A number of new players to the club made telling contributions and rubbished my pessimistic suggestions that we would struggle this year to get four sides out. Ivor Wilson started well in his sole league game scoring 71 against Blagdon. Mark Barnes added a bit of class at the top of the order scoring a fifty and bowling some excellent inswingers as well as looking extra sharp in the field. Dan Simson was the best fielder the thirds saw in 2011. Himansu Swain proved to be the perfect foil to Lyndon opening the innings, and Sudesh Rajan bowled the quickest spell up the hill that keeper Dick could remember. Sam Buckley took four wickets against Purnells in a game we would have won if it were not for an unexpected downpour.
Jordan Bachelor only played a handful of games but showed what an asset he is to the club with 2 fifties.
The old regulars became even older, but all had their moments. Neil Harrison, who isn’t that old really, took 4 for 24 and scored a swashbuckling 42 to help win the game against Barrow Gurney. Chris Smith just keeps going and his 86 against eventual league winners Old Bristolians almost pulled off a shock win as we lost by just 1 run. Bob Andrews bowled better than he has for years, often at vital points of the game. Lyndon Prendergast was steady at the top, scoring a fifty but more importantly skippering the thirds to three wins out of three games in charge. Bernard Raines took 4 for 23 against Churchways at home, another close game that we almost won. Steve Fear continues to be Mr Miserly with his economic spells but Jamie Fear with 27 wickets was the thirds leading wicket-taker by a mile, and his contribution to the team is often underestimated as he is more than happy to bowl in the difficult overs at the end of the innings when the opposition are looking to up the tempo. Dick Whittington continues to amaze everyone with his stumpings, and although Sam took the man of the match honours in an impressive win against Bear Flat, Dick made two timely stumpings (both off my own bowling) that stopped their run chase from being successful.
Well that’s all the positive stuff out of the way.
In the field we let ourselves down. Opposition were scoring less boundaries than us and still winning games. Easton Cowboys and Bear Flat in particular were able to capitalise on our ageing fielders simply by running everything. We let ourselves down with appalling over rates.
We also let ourselves down on a couple of occasions with a very poor attitude in the field. I was aware of opposition teams laughing at us as we squabbled amongst ourselves, openly questioning the captain’s decisions.

All in all 2011 was another enjoyable season, with the majority of games going to the wire. We were embroiled in a relegation battle for most of the season, but considering the average age of the team we punched above our weight and should be proud of the fact that we survived yet another year in a competitive division. Several players who play 2nd and 3rd team cricket said the standard was higher on a Sunday than a Saturday.
The new facilities at the ground were admired by all our opposition, and as always a special thank you to Paul Bachelor who continues to provide wickets that are the envy of the league.
On a personal note I would like to state that I have absolutely loved every minute of captaining the thirds for the last eight years, but I feel that my time is up and so now is the time to stand aside and let someone else have a go. At this moment in time I don’t have any intention to play cricket in 2012 as my knees, shoulders and general fitness tell me otherwise, although I would never say never again.
Cheers Steve xxx

Henry Olonga guest speaker at North Somerset Dinner

Failand player involved in scandal

The North Somerset League Dinner/ Presentation night at Cadbury Court on October 21st featured guest speaker Henry Olonga who gave a background of his international career, how he is mistaken for a shoplifter in Morrisons and sang Nessun Dorma and the South African national anthem to finish off the night. Jamie Fear won bowler of the year in division 3.

The night was not without incident however.

Everyone has skeletons in their cupboards but imagine the shock when a Failand statesman was confronted by a waitress called Sandra who stated that she recognised him from Failand 28 years ago (when the old pavillion was still standing). Although the player in question (who can't be named as he is a happily married man of over 30 years) didn't seem to recognise the lady she was quite adamant she knew him and that 'Kevin' was 27 years old now.

Uh oh, that's a whole lot of maintenance payments!!

She then put her hand to her bosom pocket and produced a page torn out of a scorebook that she had obviously treasured all these years upon which was written a poem, -

Nobody shall sleep!... Nobody shall sleep!

Even you, o Sandra,

in the changing rooms,

watch the stars,

that tremble with love and with hope.

But my secret is hidden within me,

my name no one shall know...

No!...No!... On your mouth

I will tell it when the light shines.

And my kiss will dissolve the silence that makes you mine!...

(No one will know my name or we must, alas, die.)

Vanish, o night! Set, stars! Set, stars!

At dawn, I will take five wickets and we will win!

Failand survive for another year!



A fine all round performance by Neil Harrison and a century for Dan Chapman.



This was a must win game for Failand if they were to have any chance of maintaining their division 3 status. On the back of two consecutive wins and playing against the bottom team in the table this should have been a walkover, but Barrow Gurney were surprisingly tough.

Batting first Failand were indebted to Dan Chapman who produced a chanceless century and with a typical Neil Harrison blast at the end posted 249, the highest score of the season for the thirds.

Neil Harrison then produced his best bowling display of the season taking four priceless wickets assisted by the evergreen Bob Andrews who took three. Barrow put up some stubborn resistance but Dans century was the difference between the sides. All looked lost three weeks before this fixture, but three wins out of three have seen Steve Pursey's third xi scrape enough points to survive yet another year in this division. Ironically, captain Steve Pursey missed four games this season, all of which were won in his abscence.


Steve Pursey - 16/09/2011

Sam Gunarathne wins the game for Failand.


Another vital win in Failands fight for survival saw Sam Gunarathne blast an unbeaten century to rescue Failand from a perilous position earlier on.

Churchways batted first and were almost dismissed for 170 but a valuable last wicket stand saw them through to a handy score of 219 on an akward pitch.

Wickets fell cheaply in Failands response, and the required run rate started to creep up to 10 an over, but a match saving stand between Sam and Jagath Arachchige saw Failand home.

Mr P- 16/09/2011

Essential win v Harptree



Captaining is easy said Chris after the game.



Jordan Bachelor (60) and Sam Gunarathne(51) propelled Failand towards a decent score and once Dan Chapman chipped in with (46) Failand under Chris Smiths leadership amassed a useful 209.

Phil Hogarth tried his hardest to ruin the day for the home side, but once he fell in the deep caught by Bernard Raines off of Bob Andrews the gane was over. Great bowling also by Sam, Neil Harrison and Jamie Fear.


Chris Smith - 16/09/2011

Three Wise Men!!

Barbeque Royalty.

Bob Andrews stars in good bowling performance.


Another two stumpings for Dick.



After the game the opposition wanted to know about our keeper. How old was he? Was he always as lightning fast? Does he usually produce such stunning stumpings? Where did he get that Muzzle? What's his favourite colour? Is he married?

After the game the home side gathered around Bob Andrews. Had he ever bowled such a wondeful spell? Shouldn't he batting higher up the order? Where did he learn the craft of spin? Why do people call him Blobby? What's his favourite colour? Is he married?

So many questions, and yet the real question must be why aren't Failand ever winning these days?

After losing the toss there were no surprises when Failand were asked to field on a very oppresive and humid afternoon. Every player appeared to give 100% in the field. Even Chris Smith, who is usually cemented to backward point, was seen sprinting around the boundary and throwing in over the stumps. He even took his woolly off. Ted Billing, Mark Barnes and Dan Chapman were particularly strong in the field. But the bowling performance of the day went to Big Bad Bob Andrews, who bowled 8 overs for just 28 runs at a time when the home side were cruising along at 6+ runs per over. And he also took two wickets. Mark Barnes also bowled an impeccable spell, and Jamie fear bowled a very consistent line outside off stump. Chairman Dick Whittington conjured up two stumpings and Steve Pursey held onto three catches. All in all Failand were happy at tea time to have restricted Old B's to 209, especially as this appeared to be a 250 wicket. There were tuna and sweetcorn sandwiches and a bag of crisps for every player. In the urinals after tea, whilst reading the charts on the colour of ones pee, Paul Millward, the opposing skipper, confided his side had a par score for this ground. Steve Pursey can confirm his pee colour was normal. Urinals could also put up signs about the smell of ones pee. If it smells of fish, have you been eating fish? If it smells of asparagus, have you been eating asparagus? If you can smell shredded wheat you are probably stood next to Ian Botham.

Mark Barnes and Jordan Bachelor started well in reply, until Mark recieved an outstanding delivery from Bluck that spun back from 24" outside leg stump to bowl him round his legs. Khanna took two wickets with his last two balls, finishing with 2 for 14 from his 8 overs. Failand lost their way a little and at 53 for 4 in the 18th over faced a major uphill struggle. Steve Pursey and Chris Smith put on 74 in 14 overs for the 5th wicket but it was not enough. Old B's had three leg spinners, an off spinner and two pacey bowlers, which gave the batsmen plenty to think about.

Old Bristolians deserved to win with a better all round performance, but, (and there are a lot of buts), had the toss gone differently, had some early caught and bowled chances been held there could have been a different result. F & P certainly didn't disgrace themselves and the fielding was particularly impressive. Top of the table Bristol Indians next week.


Steve Pursey - 01/08/2011

back

Much Improved Purnells too strong for Failand


Mark Barnes scores 61 and takes 4 wickets.


Purnells won the toss and decided to bat. Skipper Steve Pursey said he would have bowled first after witnessing Purnells kamikaze approach earlier in the season. The home side could only muster 10 players.
The visitors looked to attack at every opportunity and although wickets fell regularly the run rate proceeded quite nicely and when Sam Buckley and Sudesh Rajan finished their spells the score was 80 for 3 in the 16th over. Sudesh conceded just 17 runs in his 8 overs with two wickets. Wicket keeper Dick Whittington said after the game that Sudesh was probably the quickest bowler he had kept to up the hill in all his years at Failand, and he certainly bowled a very sharp spell. Mark Barnes bowled an impressive spell down the hill as well, taking three wickets in his first 7 overs and a further wicket in his last over up the hill. Marks' first wicket was an excellent catch taken in the slips by Lyndon Prendergast, which unfortunately split open Lyndon's little finger. The captain and vice captain left the field to attend to the wound, hunting out the first aid box in the ladies toilet. Imagine the shock, when sorting through the box looking for a plaster that the stalwarts heard a cheer from the field only to discover that Mark had taken a wicket with his very next ball. Fortunately this was a positive outcome, but an inquest was held in the bar after the game as to who had sanctioned a continuation of the game with just 8 players on the field whilst key personel were seeking urgent medical attention. If Kevin Peterson hurts himself with a trivial knock on his little finger a whole army of physios run onto the field to attend to his every need and the game doesn't proceed until he feels better. It was almost as if someone had decided that it wouldn't make any difference whether the two P's were on the field or not. No one owned up to this heinous crime. As it happens Lyndon spent half of the remaining overs off the field attending to the fire alarm as the sausage rolls were put in the oven on too high a temperature. Lyndon said that brushing egg on the sausage rolls was what caused the problem. Meanwhile Purnell's Kenrick and Lock rescued the visitors with 99 runs coming off the last 10 overs. 244 for 8 was a fair score.
Tea is normally a joyous occasion, but unfortunately the sausage rolls were burnt to a cinder.
Lyndon and Mark started the reply, and both scored fifties and starred in a 129 run opening partnership in just 26 overs, Mark was timing the ball so well that it was felt if he could bat to the end Failand would win the game. Once Mark fell to left armer Kenrick, the chase was as good as over, although Sam Buckley never gave up hope and was most unfortunate to miss out on a fifty. Kenrick conceded just 23 runs from his overs, and was undoubtedly man of the match for his fine all round performance.
In the end only 26 runs seperated the sides, and even though Failand only had 10 players, Purnells bowled and fielded better than the home side and were deserved winners.
After discussing the heroics of Straussy, Belly, Cooky,Swanny and others it was good to note that stars of years gone by - Smithers, Sheppy, Brainsy and Blobby are all available next week for the top of the table clash with old B's, as well as regulars Witters, Prenders, Sudo and Barnsey.


Pervo - 25/07/2011

Easton Cowboys win vital toss on drying green wicket.



A younger than usual side were asked to bat first on a drying green track, missing the steadying influence of stalwart Lyndon Prendergast. The first four men to get out all fell to balls that stopped or popped off the pitch. Chris Smith is just the man you want in these situations. Chris batted superbly to help Failand recover from a perilous 65 for 4, before Neil Harrison guided Failand to a semi-decent score on a difficult wicket. Would 178 be enough though?

Jamie Fear made an excellent tea.



After tea the wicket had dried out considerably, and all the stopping and popping of Failands innings had stopped. Justin Avery and Neil Boulton put 71 for the first wicket in 16 overs, and a cowboys victory looked certain. Mark Day bowled an amazing spell, conceding just 12 runs from his 8 overs. Bob Andrews bowled down the hill and his first 6 overs cost a measly 19 runs and also included the first 3 wickets to fall. When Bob took his third wicket the visitors still needed 75 runs from 13 overs. Steve Pursey took a wicket in the very next over and Failand sniffed an outside chance of victory. Although Jamie Fear took a couple of wickets, including Pitcher and Avery the two top scorers, the required run rate never really exceeded 6 an over, and a few lusty blows from the tail and the game was over. Mark Barnes caught two skiers in the deep, and made it look easy. Neil Harrison, who played a heroic cameo with the bat, was brought on to bowl in the 38th over with 10 required to win. Within four balls Easton had won, but not before Neil removed the unfortunate Rob Taylor, who fell on his own wicket, undoubtedly because of the surprise run up from Neil.

Another defeat that leaves Failand entrenched in the relegation zone, but another close game that was very dependent on who won the toss. To Failands credit they never gave up, fighting to the bitter end, taking 7 wickets on the way. In fact Failand have taken 76 wickets in 9 games played this season, which makes it all the more surprising that they haven't had more success. Chairman Dick Whittington lost a tooth for the cause.

Jordans' 87 runs in vain after erratic bowling display.



Bernard made the teas.


Fielding first transpired to be a bad decision as the grandfathers became increasingly grumpy in the afternoon heat. The plan was to play to Failands strengths (bowling), and to try and take advantage of Churchways weakness (batting). The visitors scored 217 thanks to some extremely wayward bowling and although in reply the home side always looked to be in control while Jordan was at the crease, as soon as his excellent innings came to an end the chase was over.

Chairman and wicketkeeper Dick Whittington announced that he would rather not play and would prefer to umpire, so Dan Chapman was rushed to the ground as a replacement. Dick did a fantastic job throughout the game as an umpire, and was lucky to be involved in a couple of talking points after the game.

Talking point No 1:- Bernard Raines, who provided a scrumptious tea, bowled a waist high full toss which was caught by the safe hands of Bob Andrews at square leg. The square leg umpire signalled a no ball. Dick, who was standing at the bowlers end over-ruled the square leg umpire, saying that the decision was down to him, and in his view the batsman was out. An interesting conundrum, but in the opinion of mid-on he was spot on in his decision but did you know that rule or would you have gone with the square leg umpire?

Talking point No 2:- Bernard Raines, who provided a scrumptious tea, bowled a head high full toss. Then he bowled another head high full toss. Umpire Dick Whittington notified the skipper and bowler that that was two for the over, no more please. Some wag yelled out "bowl another one Bernard and we can get someone else on". Lo and behold Bernard bowled another head high full toss and was promptly ordered off the field by his skipper, and Neil Harrison was summoned to finish the over. The opposing skipper confronted the home skipper and commented that this was afterall a friendly game of cricket and there was surely no need to take such action against poor Bernard. So the umpires decision was overturned by the skippers and Bernard returned to complete the last ball of the over to the delight of the visiting side. What happened next? Bernard took a wicket with the last ball. You couldn't make it up. But should the umpires decision have been final? Should Bernard have been banned from ever bowling again? Was it only a friendly?

Talking point No 3:- Neil Harrison, who was at Glastonbury the previous week, bowled his first over for 21 runs. The skipper removed him from the attack, but Neil raised the valid point that he would be paying his sub, and expected more of a game than one over. Should a player be allowed to continue bowling no matter how expensive and no matter how many wides he may have bowled? Luckily Neil was able to return to the attack shortly afterwards as Bob Andrews used his cunning to remove the dangerous Nazim, and Bernard had been removed from the attack for safety reasons.

Talking point No 4:- How good was it to have Jordan Bachelor back in the side? Jordan produced a man of the match performance, and the required run rate never exceeded eight an over while he was at the crease. His innings was controlled and included some crisp drives, and the rest of the team were confident of victory while he was still batting.

Talking point No 5:- Why do Churchways have such a negative effect on Failands demeanor?

Great performances from Sudesh, who bowled the best spell since joining Failand, Jordan who batted exceedingly well, Bernard who made the teas and took 4 wickets (despite the full tosses) and Dan who took two stumpings and two catches. Another close game which will be remembered for the unnecesssary grumpiness.

Brilliant Sam Gunarathne innings seals unlikely victory for Grandfathers over Bear Flat.


Bear Flat turned up at Horserace Lane with a strong side, probably believing that Failands tie the previous week against Bristol Indians was a flash in the pan. Failands hardcore Grandfathers turned up at Horserace Lane trying hard to convince themselves that last weeks tie was no fluke, but with six players from a different generation in the side this fixture was never going to be a walkover for Bear Flat.

The hottest day of the year so far, with temperatures close to 90 degrres (31 degrees C to the younger generation) this was a toss to win, especially with a contingent of pensioners that were desperate to sit in the shade. The visitors were asked to field.

Failand debutant Dan Simson and Failand stalwart Lyndon Prendergast opened the batting, both finding conditions tricky against an inswinging opening attack. A wicket that promised a run-fest, proved to be the exact opposite, with an outfield that was surprisingly slow, especially with the new elongated boundary. When Dan was out in the 13th over with just 31 on the board Sam Gunarathne was promoted up the order, having previously been dropped down the order for pinching the skippers spot in the changing room. Lyndon fell soon after and Steve Pursey barely troubled the scorers. So at the halfway mark Failand were 72 for 3, with the optomistic amongst them thinking 200 was on the cards. Sam reached his fifty in the 31st over. Chris was out soon after in the 34th over for a valuable 35 runs and a 93 run partnership. Sam then let loose and with Dan Chapman put on 99 runs in a trifle over 6 overs. The 39th over went for 27 and the last over went for 18 giving Failand a very respectable 248 from their alloted overs.

Steve Pursey provided the tea.

So to the visitors reply. 248 was a challenging total but by no means unachievable. Steve Fear bowled Bears opener Matt Johnson with a beautiful dipping yorker for a duck and Failand fancied their chances. Sam Gunarathne produced an immaculate throw to dispose of another Bear batsman, and at 20 for 2 Failand fancied their chances even more. Steve Fear bowled yet another economic spell. conceding just 23 from his 8 overs, despite nursing a groin injury. Jagath Arachchige bowled his first 5 overs for just 11 runs. Bear Flat proceeeded cautiously and the run rate started to creep up. Jamie Fear and Sam Gunarathne both bowled at about 5 an over, and both took a wicket each, and along with a run out the visitors were 88 for 5 in the 22nd over, but by no means out of the game. Bence and Gunning put on a 100 run partnership which kept the game alive, even though the required run rate was creeping up and up. Occasional bowler Steve Pursey bowled an economical spell at a crucial part of the game and his 8 overs cost just 35 runs concededing the solitary boundary on the penulimate ball of the game. Smart work behind the stumps by the inimitable Dick Whittington added a further two wickets and Bear Flat finished 32 runs short of their target.

This was a game won by Sams wonderful innings, but full marks must also go to the bowlers for protecting the advantage given to them by Sam, and the fielders that backed up their bowlers. There must also be a special mention to Dan Simson who fielded absolutely magnificently throughout the entire innings and saved Failand at least 40 runs in the field.

At the halfway mark in the season Failand must be relatively happy despite languishing at the bottom of the table for the majority of this time. Losing by one run to OBW, tieing with the Indians and beating Bear Flat show that with a good second half of the season promotion is not an impossibilty, but relegation would be totally unjust.

Tied Game against Bristol Indians




Top of the table Bristol Indians lost their 100% record against lowly Portbury at Horserace Lane today.

After winning the toss the visitors decided to bat on a green wicket which was surprisingly hard considering the rain that had fallen in the previous 48 hours. Failand fielded just 6 grandfathers, whilst the Bristol Indians were at the ground early practising. With the exception of keeper Harshad the Indians seemed to be young and fit, whilst the Failand faithful seemed to be old and unfit. On paper this was a certain 4 points for the Indians. Big Bob Andrews had a wad of betting slips sticking out of his top pocket.

The opening batsmen started cautiously. Steve Fear bowled with his usual economy. Bernard Raines opened the bowling down the hill after skipper Steve Pursey admitted that he had a dream about him the previous night. In the dream Bernard ripped through the top order and won the game for Failand before buying all his teammates drinks for the rest of the night, although things did get out of hand and Bernard had to be persuaded to put his clothes back on and get down off the bar. In reality he bowled a decent spell but didn't take any wickets and sat in the corner at tea-time as he had been sent to Coventry. Steve Pursey had two dropped chances in one over, Sam Gunarathne continued with his lack of wickets in the thirds but bowled well nevertheless, Sudesh bowled with venom and took the all important wicket of Vivec who scored 92, but it was Jamie Fear bowling down the hill in two spells that caused the damage by taking 4 wickets. Three of his wickets were clean bowled and the other was a magnificent one handed catch by Sudesh. The visiting side were all out in the 37th over for 218.

John and Sandy Parfitt provided a wonderful tea. The purple lettuce leaves and hot pizza were stand-out features and the scones were particularly popular with the opposition.

Failands reply centred around two large partnerships. Firstly Lyndon Prendergast and Himansu Swain put on 73 for the first wicket in 16 overs before Himansu was well caught on the boundary. Lyndon ran himself out shortly afterwards. Then John Parfitt and Sam Gunarathne compiled a magnificent 100 partnership which tipped the game in Failands direction. With 10 overs to go Failand needed 79 to win with only two wickets down. With 5 overs to go Failand needed 49 and still only two wickets down, and it looked as if a major upset was on the cards. Sam Gunarathne played an excellent innings, and it was felt if Sam stayed until the end, Failands Grandfathers would be victorious. There then followed a spate of run outs, as Parfitt, Sudesh and Chapman all failed to make their ground.

So the last over was bowled by Khalid, and Failand needed 13 runs to win. Single, single, six, two but another run out, this time Bernard left stranded. Three required from 2 balls and Sam on strike 96*. Sam hit the ball in the direction of the square leg boundary but only a single. A scrambled single on the last ball and a tied match.

In the bar afterwards there was much discussion as to whether it was two points gained or two points lost. There was discussion about dropped catches, but it was pointed out that both sides dropped catches. One scallywag tried to blame umpire and chairman Dick Whittington for giving a five ball over at a vital stage of the game.

All in all this must be seen as a good result against a strong top of the table team, and Failand will enter the second half of the season with confidence. Bob Andrews tore up his betting slips and thankfully Bernard kept his clothes on.


Steve Pursey - 20/06/2011

Another defeat for the thirds.

Failand scored 110 of their 152 runs in boundarys. Easton Cowboys scored just 60 of their 153 runs in boundarys, as they relentlessly pushed the ball at a grandfather and ran. But ultimately Failand were penalised for not scoring enough runs on an outfield so fast that even defensive prods were racing away for four. In the end this was a good game. It looked as if it was going to the home side for seventy overs, but a late flurry of wickets falling to Jamie Fear and Neil Harrison kept the game alive and a shock win was on the cards.
Earlier, after winning the toss, Failand batted in strong cross winds. The pitch was a little unpredictable. Some balls passed the batsmen at head height while other kept low, but there can be no excuses for such a poor batting performance. Even midweek centurion Lyndon Prendergast and last weeks' hero Chris Smith struggled to get the ball away. Sam Gunarathne scored three sixes and three fours in doublequick time, but fell attempting another big hit. The anticipated target was downgraded several times from an optimistic 250, to 200, to 180, to 170, 160 and finally 152.
A good tea was taken in a leisurly fashion, and the poppy seed bread sandwiches were memorable.
It was while the players were putting their boots on after tea that skipper Steve Pursey pleaded with the players not to bowl short, especially bowling into the wind, because the grandfathers version of pace bowling would struggle to get to the other end. Dick Whittington, who was keeping wicket as Lyndon had a limp, put on his chairmans hat and backed up his skipper. He added that anyone bowling short, would be escorted from the pitch and be told not to darken our doorstep again.
The Cowboys opened up at a decent pace and were ahead of the run rate for their entire innings. Justin Avery was particularly successful in putting all the legside balls he recieved in a boundary direction. In fact in one sarcastic exchange he asked the Failand skipper if he was strengthening the legside field because he was planning to bowl more legside tripe.
Neil Harrison, who had been half asleep for most of the game, suddenly sprung to life and made a vital breakthrough, and with Jamie Fear bowling a great line with the wind, wickets started to tumble. Probably just a little late, but Failand suddenly found themselves in with an outside chance and to take eight wickets was a positive to take from the game.
In the after game inquest, it was clear that Failand had not scored enough runs. All the singles not taken and all the stupid fielding errors proved costly. Chairman Dick Whittington conceded that his pep-talk may have had a derogatory effect, because if players were thrown out of the club for bowling short he would have to open the bowling himself next week. Nevertheless he imposed a one match ban to Pursey, Gunarathne and Andrews for their carelessness and to teach a lesson to anyone else that bowls short in the future.
Four games played,

Failand lose two points after Dicks' Farewell Tea Party

June 5th 2011

Failand were cruising to victory in this bottom of the table clash, when the rains came. Under the league ruling, if twenty overs of the reply are completed, and the rains come, then the game is decided on run rate. Unfortunately Purnells had only completed 17.1 overs. So two points were lost after the Failand bowlers had done all the hard work.

Failand chairman Dick Whittington announced that this would be his last game for Failand and Portbury mid way through a Jamie Fear over. The shock of Dicks' announcement had the right effect as the bowlers started taking wickets, fighting back the tears to ensure Dick had a good send off. Sudesh picked up the first wicket, an excellent catch by Sam Buckley, Steve Fear bowled with his usual economy and Jagath picked up two well deserved wickets. Sam Buckley, who admitted that last week he bowled the worst over of his life, perservered and took 4 wickets and a run out off his own bowling. A fighting innings by the hard-hitting Nathan Redmond gave Purnells a slim chance, but 97 all out was probably 20 more than it should have been.

Purnells skipper Nathan Redmond was batting at the time of Dicks announcement, and it is believed he must have passed on the news during the drinks break, where the fielders were offered a choice of apple and blackcurrant or orange squash.

To everyones surpise a glorious feast was laid on to celebrate Dicks' retirement. There were sandwichs of all descriptions, sausage rolls, pizzas, several different sorts of crisps, home made biscuits, flapjacks, scones with cream, home made cakes with marsh mallows and maltesers as well as a choice of tea and coffee and cold drinks. This must have been a proud moment for Dick, as everyone gathered round totally mesmerised as Dick recounted tales of stumpings made in his youth.

After the prolonged break, Mark Barnes and Himansu Swain started well, both hitting some marvellous shots, and the runs required total tumbled quickly. With victory in sight it started to rain. Then it rained a bit harder. With only three overs to go the game was abandoned as a draw.

This was a big disapointment to the Failand players, especially as everyone was hoping Dick would go out on a winning note.

There was plenty of food left after the game, and Purnells must be congratulated not only for living in an area unaffected by the morning downpours that cancelled virtually every other game in the region, but also their hospitality.

To everyones astonishment Dick made a fresh announcement after the game that he wasn't going to retire after all.

Thirds lose again.

Players banned for a week for bowling badly.

Failand scored 110 of their 152 runs in boundarys. Easton Cowboys scored just 60 of their 153 runs in boundarys, as they relentlessly pushed the ball at a grandfather and ran. But ultimately Failand were penalised for not scoring enough runs on an outfield so fast that even defensive prods were racing away for four. In the end this was a good game. It looked as if it was going to the home side for seventy overs, but a late flurry of wickets falling to Jamie Fear and Neil Harrison kept the game alive and a shock win was on the cards.

Earlier, after winning the toss, Failand batted in strong cross winds. The pitch was a little unpredictable. Some balls passed the batsmen at head height while other kept low, but there can be no excuses for such a poor batting performance. Even midweek centurion Lyndon Prendergast and last weeks' hero Chris Smith struggled to get the ball away. Sam Gunarathne scored three sixes and three fours in doublequick time, but fell attempting another big hit. The anticipated target was downgraded several times from an optimistic 250, to 200, to 180, to 170, 160 and finally 152.

A good tea was taken in a leisurly fashion, and the poppy seed bread sandwiches were memorable.

It was while the players were putting their boots on after tea that skipper Steve Pursey pleaded with the players not to bowl short, especially bowling into the wind, because the grandfathers version of pace bowling would struggle to get to the other end. Dick Whittington, who was keeping wicket as Lyndon had a limp, put on his chairmans hat and backed up his skipper. He added that anyone bowling short, would be escorted from the pitch and be told not to darken our doorstep again.

The Cowboys opened up at a decent pace and were ahead of the run rate for their entire innings. Justin Avery was particularly successful in putting all the legside balls he recieved in a boundary direction. In fact in one sarcastic exchange he asked the Failand skipper if he was strengthening the legside field because he was planning to bowl more legside tripe.

Neil Harrison, who had been half asleep for most of the game, suddenly sprung to life and made a vital breakthrough, and with Jamie Fear bowling a great line with the wind, wickets started to tumble. Probably just a little late, but Failand suddenly found themselves in with an outside chance and to take eight wickets was a positive to take from the game.

In the after game inquest, it was clear that Failand had not scored enough runs. All the singles not taken and all the stupid fielding errors proved costly. Chairman Dick Whittington conceded that his pep-talk may have had a derogatory effect, because if players were thrown out of the club for bowling short he would have to open the bowling himself next week. Nevertheless he imposed a one match ban to Pursey, Gunarathne and Andrews for their carelessness and to teach a lesson to anyone else that bowls short in the future.

Four games played, four games lost and no points. Things can only get better.

Thriller


Pensioner Chris Smith scores 86* and takes a stunning catch.

The thirds were involved in a thriller at Horserace Lane, with Chris Smith and Dick Whittington transfoming Failands fortunes after they were 46 for 6 chasing 207. Needing 14 from the final over, the first three balls went for 10 runs. Bob Andrews, always at the centre of the action, so nearly hit the winning four off the last ball, but the ball was stopped just inches inside the line. Bob was then run out before he could complete a third run which would have tied the game. Chris was stranded at the non-strikers end 86*. Dick scored a valuable 42 runs before suffering with cramp as he tried one quick single too many.

Old Bristolians batted first after losing the toss, and Failand were glad to see the back of skipper Paul Millward for just 11, suberbly caught by Chris Smith in the slips. Chris dropped a sitter in the previous over, by the way, and there were murmerings that he was well past pensionable age and should be playing a less active game like scrabble. How wrong he proved those doubters. The catch alone was worth an £8 match fee, but the 86 runs on top showed his class. Yeo and Oldfield scored 73 and 55 for Old B's respectively and put on 103 for the 3rd wicket. Steve Fear bowled his 8 overs for just 17 runs, and son Jamie took 3 for 25 and looked Failands best bowler.

Lyndon made the teas, Dick had to go home to get his trousers so missed the first few overs, Mark Barnes looked impressive before playing a full toss from Alex Lee (5 for 24) on to his stumps, Bob Andrews contained the rampant batsmen before Neil Harrison provided the welcome breakthrough again.

Obviously the talk in the bar was which ba**ard cost us the game and there were plenty of contenders, as everyone cost us the game in some way or other. But ultimately the first scapegoat of 2011 was chairman Dick Whittington for forgetting his trousers. An edged four went straight to where he would have been fielding had he remembered his trousers.

Steve Pursey - 15/05/2011

Failand restrict Bear Flat to 216, but lose their way with careless batting.


At least it didn't rain!!



Things are changing with the Failand Sunday xi. Mark Walker suggested a work-out before the game started. Skipper Pursey replied that he would walk out to the middle with him if that's what he meant, but apparantly that was not what he meant. Before you could say Jagath Arachchige, the Failand youngsters were having fielding practice. Obviously the remaining grandfathers (just the three this week) were still applying Deep Heat and adjusting their Tubigrips. This is a new beginning for the North Somerset xi, and the practice paid rich dividends with four run outs. Motivation and Fitness Guru Walker will take control of Pre-match workouts, starting next week at home to Old B's.

Bear Flat lost the toss and were asked to bat. They set off at 5 an over and maintained that pace throughout their innings. The pitch at Ironmould Lane looked good and the heavy overnight rain didn't seem to affect matters. In fact it was the strong crosswind that hampered the bowlers who seemed to over-compensate, reflected by the 23 wides bowled by Failand and the 24 wides bowled by the Bears. Mike Colbeck, the Bears dangerman fell 2nd ball to Jagath who was the star bowler along with Guru Walker and Mark Barnes, who was making a Failand debut. But it was the fielders that showed the way with four run outs. Steve Pursey claimed two direct hits and Lyndon Prendergast was involved in the other two run outs.

At the tea interval both sides were probably pleased with their overall performance in an evenly balanced first half of the game. The tea was of a good standard, with an abundance of choice.

One by one the Failand top-order threw their wickets away with careless shots. And then the Failand middle order threw their wickets away with careless shots. And before you could say Jagath Arachchige, Jagath Arachchige was showing the top order how to protect your wicket. Unfortunately at this stage the run required rate was over 10 an over.

Bear Flat are a strong side that looked particularly impressive in the field and confident whilst batting. They will undoubtedly be at the top of the division come the end of the season along with Blagdon, the only other side that Failand have met this season.

Players are being encouraged to be at the ground by 1.00pm next week for a warm up before the game!!


Steve Pursey - 09/05/2011

Appalling Failand saved from complete disgrace by Ivor Wilson

Blagdon a different class


It is hard to believe that Failand have managed to give Blagdon a run for their money in previous years looking at the two sides present at Horserace lane for the league opener of 2011. Failand even managed to shake off their 'Grandfather' tag with only four over 50s on display. It was suggested, quite cruelly, by one of the 'younger' newcomers to the club that judging by the combined contribution of the four grandfathers that were on display, it might have been better had they not played at all. Skipper Steve Pursey pointed out to the upstart in question that all clubs need tea-makers, bar-stewards, treasurers and inspirational gurus like Bernard Raines to help their club survive, and it is only polite to kid them that they can still play cricket at league level, and that one day that same upstart may also be a grandfather and he might understand the finer points of village cricket. He ate his cheese and caramalised red onion chutney sandwich and shut up.

So, things aren't looking good after just one game, but Blagdon did look extremely strong. Debutant Ivor Wilson scored 73 runs, and the remaining 'batsmen' mustered a mere 37 runs between them chasing an imposing 274 target.

Oh well, other than to praise the Blagdon team for a great performance, there is little else worth mentioning, other than the aforementioned 73 from Ivor and two excellent stumpings from old-timer Lyndon Prendergast. Adam Grey bowled well taking two wickets as well as a stunning runout. Jagath bowled tidily up the hill and Sudesh Rajan bowled the delivery of the day, described by gloveman Prendergast as the best ball he has taken for many a year. There was a strong wind, a short boundary on one side, it was quite cold after the April heatwave and the pitch was two-paced. Blagdon pace and Failand pace.

The chairman of selectors would like to add - "So far the quality of match reports have been poor".


Steve Pursey - 02/05/2011

How Was It For You, the review of the season for each of our Member Clubs sees Conference Chairman Dave Millard, land by helicopter at Horserace Lane, the home of Failand & Portbury Cricket Club. Carrying a set of new measurements, this is the review of the season for the Club renowned for its location on The North West Frontier

Club Name; Failand & Portbury

Knick- Name; The Grandfathers

Club Finishing Position; 6th in Sunday Conference Division 3

Leading Run Scorer in 2010; Lyndon Prederghast 379 @29

Leading Wicket Taker in 2010; Jamie Fear 18

Number of Centuries; None

Number of Five Wicket Hauls; One- Adam Grey 6 for 8 v Kilmersdson in Week3

Up in the Clouds; Beating Division 3 Runners Up Claverham in Week 18

Down in the Dumps; Losing four on the trot in the second half of the season

The Season in 13 Lines ; 2010 did not quite zing for Failand &Portbury. Having just missed on promotion at the end of the 2009 Season, the Grandfathers won just once in May, young fast bowler Adam Grey taking 6 for 8 to dismiss for Kilmersdon for just 39. The batting failed to score sufficient runs for the bowlers to defend and it took to week 5 for the side to pass 200. Ironically Failand then passed 200 in four games in succession. This saw Lyndon Prenderghast hit 98 in a forlorn pursuit of Blagdon's 274. Steve Pursey (71) and Chris Smith (53) put on 123 for the fourth wicket in a win over Barrow Gurney . A week later youngster Jordan Bachelor hit a superb 96 sharing 136 for the fifth wicket with Graham Grey. Yet Claverham were to chase down a target of 213 with victory off the penultimate ball. So set in motion, a four game losing sequence, including a defeat by 10 wickets at Blagdon, having set the Home Side 186. Jamie Fear and Steve Fear restored faith in the bowlers with respective 4 wicket returns in successive weeks in August, before being at the forefront of the win over Claverham, Neil Harrison having made 55 in Failand's total.

The Wowometer Rating; 4

The compostion of Division 3 North Somerset on Sunday for 2011 is:-

Purnells 3rds

Bear Flat

OBW Sunday

Blagdon

Harptree

Failand and Portbury

Churchways

Barrow Gurney

Bristol Indians

Easton Cowboys

Third xi Captains Report 2010

Like the Firsts and Seconds, the North Somerset xi spent most of the season with relegation being a distinct possibility. But, as with most other seasons, a good run-in ensured we were safe. Relegation from division 3 seems more likely every year as our team get older and older, and yet miraculously we continue to hold our own. Our running between the wickets is awful and some of our fielding is abysmal, but we still manage to win games.
The contribution of the younger players has been vital again this year. The fifteen year olds, Jordan Bachelor and Adam Grey, both turned in man of the match performances to help win vital games. Adam took 6 wickets for 8 runs in his allotted 5 overs against Kilmersdon in the best individual performance of the season. Jordan scored a memorable 96 runs against table-toppers Claverham. We would not have beaten top of the table Claverham in the return fixture if it were not for Will Potter smashing 36 runs on a damp wicket in no time. Jamie Fear, although no spring chicken but still a youngster in most of our eyes, produced tight bowling spells game after game and always bowled for the team and not his own average. Jamie also had the highest batting average!
Andy Bowen was a very useful addition to our squad in 2010. He scored a face-saving 52 against Blagdon and chipped in with some vital wickets. Club politician and perpetual scapegoat Neil Harrison also played an instrumental role in two of our victories. His inspired all-run four against Winford was so audacious that although he only scored seven runs in total, he was a strong contender for man of the match. The ball was hit straight at a fielder and Neil called two. The fielder shied at the stumps, but missed. Another fielder was backing up and dived to stop the ball just 15 yards from the wicket. Neil was already running a third run. The fielder wisely didn’t throw the ball, but as he was getting up from the floor, possibly believing the ball was dead, Neil called a fourth run, and made his ground. Jordan was the other runner. This was probably our champagne moment.
Another legend, Lyndon Prendergast, was the top scorer for the thirds with 379 league runs. Lyndon’s experience was vital in many tense situations. Lyndon also led the team to two successive victories in August to dispel any thoughts of relegation.
Further batting contributions from Chris Smith and Graham Grey meant that we scored more runs than on previous summers, although the favourable batting conditions may have helped. Our bowlers also took ten wickets in eight games out of seventeen, which is quite an achievement in a season that tended to favour the batsmen. Overall our strength is still in the bowling department.
The long term future of the North Somerset team would be dependent on how many new players we can attract to the club. As the nucleus of the team becomes older, less mobile and more injury prone it becomes even more essential that fresh young talent is unearthed.

In the short term I would predict that we will survive another year in division three.

I would like to thank all the club officials that have made cricket at Horserace Lane possible, especially Paul Bachelor whose contribution to the club is immense. Furthermore I would like to thank all the 26 players that appeared for the third xi in 2010 and made playing cricket so enjoyable.

On a personal level I enjoy being captain of the third xi more and more each year. I believe that cricket should be fun. I don’t believe in winning at all costs, and my mediocre record reflects this, but I am happy in the knowledge that I have given everyone a game (most weeks) and therefore we win together and we lose together and are not dependent on one or two individuals. We all have the opportunity to have a good day. It is on this basis that I would be quite happy to stand again in 2011 if the club are happy to tolerate this flippant approach, but I am also more than happy to stand aside if someone else has different ideas.

Some third xi facts –

We lost the last 9 consecutive tosses, once to every club in our division.
(I always call heads).
We scored totalled over 200 in five consecutive games – quite an achievement for us.
We scored 136 runs more than our opposition scored against us.
We took 116 wickets and lost 98 wickets.
We finished 6th in the division.
Adam Grey was the leading wicket taker. ***
Lyndon Prendergast was the leading run scorer. ***
Dick Whittington nominated Neil Harrison as scapegoat on six occasions, Chris Smith on five occasions and Bob Andrews twice. Bernard Raines was also blamed for a defeat after phoning team members at 5 am causing severe sleep deprivation.

*** Late News – Winford have been considered to have defaulted big time so all statistics involving these games are null and void.

Second Placed Claverham fall to Failand's Grandfathers (with a little help from Will Potter and Neil Harrison).


A shock result at Horserace Lane saw promotion contenders Claverham lose to an ageing Failand team with 5 players over the age of 60 and an average age of 51.1.
Failand were indebted initially to 14 year old Will Potter who struck an aggressive 36, took 1 for 16 and held on to a great catch. And then perpetual scapegoat Neil Harrison top scored with 55, took 2 for 7 and also took a great catch. In fact one could be mistaken into believing this was a two man show, but there were also telling contributions from Jamie Fear (3 for 26 and a great catch), Steve Fear (2 for 31) and Andy Bowen (2 for 18 in 8 overs, a great catch and some tasty pizzas).
Unfortunately chairman Dick Whittington, who fielded very well considering he had a terrible bad leg, concentrated on the negatives at the tea interval. Dick said a disciplinary hearing would have to be convened to discuss the poor on field behaviour. Chris Smith (threw his bat to the ground in a paddy fit after being bowled), captain Steve Pursey (questioned the poor decision made by umpire Bernard 'trigger' Raines) and Bernard (refused to walk when he had blatantly edged a ball to the keeper).
The conditions were typical last game of the season conditions - cold, windy and sporadic showers. Unbelievably Failand lost the toss for a ninth consecutive time. Predictably Failand were asked to bat. Will Potter opened with Lyndon Prendergast, and attacked the bowling from the start, hitting 3 sixes in his first 5 scoring shots. Lyndon hit a six as well. Steve Pursey also hit a six before allegedly falling caught behind. Club chairman Dick Whittington has said that all reporting should be unbiased and Bernard should be applauded for volunteering to umpire for twenty overs while his fellow players huddled round the fire in the pavillion. Chris Smith looked out of sorts. Andy Bowen fell for a duck, and obviously had other things on his mind. Henry Ivall 4 wickets for 9 runs at this stage. Neil Harrison then played a perfect innings bearing in mind the situation, mixing defensive shots with outrageous hitting to great effect. Bernard nicked one, a nick so obvious that Paul Bachelor heard it at the other end of a mobile phone call at Lords. He refused to walk causing great shame for Failand. Neil and Steve Fear put on 34 runs together. Steve scored one run, but a very valuable one run. Bob Andrews ran Steve out as soon as he had the opportunity. 162 was a fair total in the conditions.
Andy Bowen cooked some pizzas for tea. He also made a colouful fruit salad with pink grapefruit and bananas.
Lloyd Richardson opened the innings for Claverham. The home side were all too aware of the damage he could cause after the earlier fixture this year when he single handedly conjured a win against the odds. But Failand were also wiser after that experience and fielded with five on the leg side boundary. Lloyd was forced to take singles and consequently Failand were able to bowl at the rest of the side. Wickets fell at regular intervals, but to his credit Richardson still scored 56, but fell to an absolute pearl of a delivery from Andy Bowens' first ball. Claverham were now 76 for 5, but the game was as good as over for the visitors as Failand applied the pressure with Will Potter bowling in tandem with Andy, before man of the moment Neil Harrison entered the attack and took two vital wickets. The 'Grandfathers' looked good in the field and the result was thoroughly deserved.
Everyone retired to the bar for a drink or two. Neil put twenty pounds behind the bar and Lyndon bought everyone a drink from his fantasy cricket winnings.
Another season over.
Steve Pursey - 30/08/2010

Chris Smith runs out three teammates before running himself out.

After the game, Chris Smith found himself sitting alone in a corner with no friends. Having run out three in form batsmen, he then ran himself out, to tilt the game firmly in Barrow Gurneys favour. Failand never really recovered from the shock of Chris's poor judgement and chairman Dick Whittington had no hesitation in naming Chris as this weeks scapegoat. Chris has now been named scapegoat for the last three losses and only needs to be named scapegoat for the next loss to equal Neil Harrisons appalling record set in 2007.
Failand's total of 179 was nowhere near enough, as the shambolic fielding display that followed proved. Another talking point in the bar afterwards was Bob Andrews' catch. The catch took everyone by surprise, including Bob, who promptly called all his teammates into a huddle to give a coaching masterclass. Then Lyndon Prendargast took everyone by surprise with an extrordinary tale of being able to remove his underpants without taking his trousers off. This was in the bar incidentally, not on the field of play. He will be performing this trick at the forthcoming 'Failands Got Talent' show, and it is sure to pull a crowd. Bernard Raines pulled a muscle. He will be performing as Bernice Reigns, a sadistic blond with a liking for chain saws, in the same show. The mind boggles! Jordan Bachelor looked in great touch before becoming another one of Chris's victims. Steve Pursey scored 58 and Jamie Fear remained not out with another blistering display at the end. Margo Andrews made a great tea, and the fruit salad proved a great hit and looked good as well.
Full marks to Barrow for chasing down a challenging total, even though they had the better of the conditions as the pitch improved considerably as the game went on. Mark Brown and Luke Glazzard put on 99 vital runs after the game seemed to be going Failands way. The visitors were struggling at 59 for 5 when the pair came together. Sam Gunarathne and Jamie Fear bowled particularly well, and it was good to hear Andy Bowen grunting from the stunted pine tree end.
By the end of the night Chris appeared to have been forgiven, although it was only after he reluctantly agreed to perform some acrobatics 'Failands Got Talent' show.
Steve Pursey - 23/08/2010

Failand show great spirit in the field to squeeze home in relegation battle


Youth and experience does the job

The Failand and Portbury Grandfathers side showed their great experience does occasionally come in handy as they fought back from a very poor position to pull off an unexpected victory away to Churchways.


Stand in skipper Lyndon Prendergast kept up the long run of losing the toss and they were duly inserted on a wet and slow wicket. The very long grass on the outfield turned potential boundaries into singles as Lyndon and Andy struggled with the run rate. When the score reached a tedious 48 from almost 20 overs the former was bowled by a beauty for 23.


Failand quickly lost 3 more wickets including Andy for 25. With the innings in dire need of some momentum 14 year's old William Potter showed the way by belting 6-2-4 before being given out somewhat unluckily stumped.


Neil Harrison with three boundaries in his 19, Jordan Bachelor a more watchful 20 no and Jamie Fear 19 no helped Failand scramble to 142 for 6.


Churchways raced away to 30 from 7 overs before Lyndon claimed a fine stumping. This only let in S.Naseem and he crashed 3 huge sixes as his side reached 87 for 1.


The breakthough came from 15 year old Adam Grey who clean bowled him with an unplayable 'shooter'. Failand looked dead and buried as Churchways reached 98 for 2 from only 17 overs. With 17 runs coming from his opening 2 overs Adam proceeded to turn the game on its head. He conceded a mere 7 runs from his next 4 overs to claim another 2 wickets including clean bowling M.Griffiths who rode his luck to hammer 53 and set up an apparently easy win for his side. With Bob Andrews turning in his best performance of the season to claim 2 for 16 from his 7 overs, despite suffering from a number of dropped catches. Jamie Fear returned to claim an additional 3 victims as wickets continued to fall.

15 year old Jordan Bachelor shrugged off a poor fielding performance to end as Failand's match winner. With the hosts inching their way to victory, Jordan bowled 2 maidens ending the match by clean bowling Churchways skipper Marek Petela to see Failand victorious by a mere 7 runs. With 2 successive victories for the Grandfathers the sceptre of relegation has been lifted and they welcome back their skipper Steve Pursey for their next match against Barrow Gurney with the side full of confidence.


Lyndon Prendergast - 16/08/2010

Failand storm to easy win in relegation battle

On winning the toss, hosts Winford surprisingly chose to bat first on a rain affected wicket.

A number of excellent catches saw veteran Steve Fear and young Jordan Bachelor rip through the early batting. The home side collapsed to 48 for 6, with only skipper Josh Pearce reaching double figures.

J. Chick with a hard working 30 tried to farm the remaining strike but when he fell to 14 year old Will Potter, the Winford batting finished at 83 for 8. Unfortunately their remaining batsman was caught in traffic, only reaching the ground in time to find a smashing tea waiting .

Steve Fear enjoyed his best afternoon of the season to claim 4 for 20 from his 8 overs.

In reply Andy Bowen and stand-in skipper Lyndon Prendergast saw Failand race to 39 before Andy lobbed a simple catch from a slow full toss to square leg for 16. Lyndon enjoyed a good afternoon to end on 42 n.o. as Failand won by 8 wickets in less than half the overs to ease their relegation worries.

When skipper Steve Pursey returns from chasing the animals around Kenya the players will be able to tell him how a cricket match can be done and dusted in a total of only four hours. This enabled an early night down in the local Duke of Waterloo.

Half the side left for home leaving half a dozen players to tuck into some magnificent sausage and chips from the kindly landlady and was enjoyed by all.

LP - 10/08/2010

Ten Wicket Defeat to Blagdon

Failand scored their highest score for years at Blagdon, but it was 70 runs short of a winning total. The home side made light work of chasing 186, reaching the total without losing a wicket and with 7 overs to spare.
Although this was not a game earmarked for victory, it would have been nice to get a little bit closer. Failand have lost 5 consecutive tosses (in completed games) and have been asked to bat each time. And on every occasion they would have prefered to bowl first. But with just four games to go, the results show that the third xi have won just three games, and it is no coincidence that all three defeated teams are below Failand in the table.
Andy Bowen and Lyndon Prendergast worked hard on a shocker of a pitch against a good opening attack. After a careful start they progressed the score to 66 off of 17 overs before Lyndon fell. His innings was memorable for the fact that he ran 2 threes - something that has never been witnessed in recent years. Steve Pursey had a brief slog and also ran a three. Graham Grey fell for nought. Andy kept his cool and made his first fifty since returning to Failand. Jordan Bachelor and Chris Smith did well to see Failand to a score of 185 for 4 by tea. Chris also ran a three.
The tea included some delicious home made cake.
Adam Grey and Steve Fear were not quite at their best opening the bowling. Jamie Fear bowled an absolutely superb spell but Adam Boroughs and Jon Withers stayed on top throughout the innings. Jordan started off well, but it was big Bob Andrews that looked most likely to take a wicket, having a number of edges and dropped chances. Bernard Raines bowled a decent spell at the end, but the Blagdon focus was whether Withers would get a century, which he deserved despite some rather unsporting suggestions by some Failand fielders.
Chairman Dick Whittington, who was dropped for this game due to a groin strain, umpired throughout the game in the professional manner one would expect.
Dick, however, was in the changing room after the game offering his words of wisdom about what went wrong, and his opinions as a neutral umpire were valued. Dick thought that we did well against a good bowling attack to score 185, but felt we were abysmal in the field. He also suggested it was time that certain players retired. Skipper Steve Pursey, in his attempts to get an impartial opinion, went as far as to trap opposing skipper Jim Butcher in the shower and refused to let him out until he gave an honest assessment of Failands performance. It didn't make pleasant listening. The normally shy Lyndon suggested we try 'swearapy' again, but no one seemed too keen.
Skipper Steve took the defeat exceptionally badly and took the unusual step of dropping himself for the next game, asking Lyndon to take over. Graham and Adam Grey followed Steves example and dropped themselves. Bob Andrews said he would play as a batsman next week and before you knew it the rest of the team offered to drop out.

Thirds trounced by the Bangladeshis.


A strong Bangladeshi side beat Failands' grandfathers with over 14 overs to spare. It is hard to know where to start in this one sided affair. A Forever-Optimist would point to the fact that Failand were not bowled out cheaply. Unfortunately that is the only positive from a Failand perspective at this stage. Well maybe one could add the immaculate bowling of the father and son Fears.
The Bangladeshis played throughout in the right spirit, and looked a totally different side to the side Failand encountered earlier in the season. They were professional in their approach to the game, and were also very welcome visitors to Horserace Lane.
Failand gave a game to honoured guest member, Aussie Bradley 'Howy' Howlett. Bob Andrews had to sit this game due to problems with his dictaphone, along with the injured Graham Grey. Losing the toss was severly harmful, as Failand really wanted to chase for a change.
Andy Bowen went cheaply, before Lyndon Prendergast and Steve Pursey added 66 in 17 overs, but both fell in quick succession trying to up the scoring rate. The middle order and tail just didn't perform, although there were several cameos to keep the crowd and his dog entertained. Adam Grey suffered a nasty blow to the shoulder from an accidental beamer, but bravely batted on, playing one of the best shots of the day with a perfect cover drive, which was an amazing shot considering the pain that he was in. 176 for 8 was obviously not going to be enough against the table-toppers unless a miracle were to happen.
Lyndon made the sandwiches, and Steve P supplied the cakes and Bhajis.
Steve Fear took the only wicket to fall in the Bangladeshi reply. Bradley Howlett was a bit stiff from his Saturday exploits, and Andy Bowen was tonked all around the park and the visitors were cruising to victory with 50 off of 5 overs. Jamie Fear bowled a good spell down the Hill, but opener Tejas Bandal notched up his third century of the season without problems, finding the gaps in the field at ease. He gave a difficult chance before hitting double figures, but otherwise was totally in command, even turning down certain singles to keep the strike, toying with the Failand bowlers. Tufayel Ahmed scored a fifty also with some brutal hits.
In the bar after the game, Neil Harrison, scapegoat extrordinaire, politician and intellect suggested that swear therapy, known as swearapy, was a good way of getting over a run of defeats. Club Chairman, Dick Whittington, started the fun by telling Lyndon to go and have a shower you F***ng W***ker. Then Lyndon, who appeared to be a natural with bad language, let rip with a torrent of F words. And before you knew it the whole team were F'ing this and F'ing that. Luckily 15 year old Adam Grey, who returned to field after a precautionery rest, was not present to hear such invective. Jamie Fear conducted a curse-o-meter test on Failand legend Lyndon. Whilst talking about various opposition and umpire decisions he managed 15 F's a minute, and surprisingly on his favourite subject, Aussie soap operas, managed a mere 6 F's a minute. But the highest F count, at an incredible 27.5 F's per minute, was whilst talking about his own team-mates. Dick said Andy Bowen and Chris Smith were the 'F***ers that cost us the game' in a new slant on scapegoat of the week. Neil should be applauded for his new concept, which resulted in a horrible defeat totally wiped from memory, along with higher than normal bar takings, although Howy helped considerably here.
Next week it's Blagdon, and skipper Steve Pursey said that if we can't beat that f***ng shower we f****ng deserve to go down.
Steve Pursey - 26/07/2010

League prediction for Sunday 25th July 2010

Sunday Conference Division 3


Another Division taking shape well with three teams looking at the two top spots and as many as six looking to avoid relegation. Winford will be hoping for their first win of the season as they make the short trip over the A38 to Barrow, who are just one place and two points above the drop zone. Churchways entertain Blagdon in a game that Marek has targeted as a must win in their push to remain in the Division. Second placed Claverham also must win as they entertain Harptree if they are to stop Grendel from swapping places as Grendel host Kilmersdon. It will not be an easy task though as Kilmersdon are fighting for their survival being just two points from getting out of the drop zone. Bristol Bangladeshis are expected to be too strong for Failand and Portbury and will be looking to hit big at the small picturesque ground.

Thirds beginning to look their age

Six players over 60!

There must have been something in the Kilmersdon water, or maybe it was the fumes emanating from the chemical toilet, but the placid laid back Grandfathers turned into a bunch of extremely grumpy old men at School Lane in this bottom of the table clash. Tempers flared in the dressing room after the game as Chairman Dick Whittington, who earlier in the day had threaten to go on strike if Chris Smith was allowed to bowl, suggested that Big Bob Andrews got more use from his dictaphone than his dick, which was particularly hurtful as it is known that Bob has been having problems in the dictaphone department for some time now and was hoping to keep this away from his team mates for fear of affecting morale. Luckily everyone kissed and made up in the Warwick Arms at Clutton after the game, although Dick still insisted that Chris had lost us the game with the long hop that was smashed for four. And Bob, obviously hurt from Dicks' earlier suggestion, then started to exagerate his sexual conquests dating back to the 1960s, which no one believed, and it almost kicked off again. Lyndon insisted that he didn't get a nick on the ball aginst Churchways earlier in the season, which no one believed, and it was time to go home.
Graham Grey batted well for a top score of 26, but recieved little support. This was a bad toss to lose. A par score on this bleached brown dirt track seemed to be about 140/150, but wickets fell regularly and the batting looked frail. A painfully slow partnership of 51 between Graham and Steve Pursey (who scored just 8 of these) left Failand at 52 for 2 after 20 overs, but Kilmersdons star of the show Steve Jackson not only ran out Graham with a direct hit but proceeded to bowl 8 overs for just 9 runs.
A score of 110 wasn't likely to be enough, but skipper Steve Purseys attempts to motivate his players by telling them this was a pitch full of mysterys, was undermined by the tailender Bob Andrews who scored his highest 3rd xi score since scoring 6 in a friendly aginst Longney in 2005, who suggested otherwise.
It took the home side 37 overs to reach their target. Neil Harrison and Jamie Fear starred with the ball, but that man Jackson top scored with 59 and saw Kilmersdon home.
Next week the Bangladeshis.
Uh oh, relegation is looming unless the grandfathers can get their act together. Failand have been in these situations many times before, and usually survive, and although overall they are not the worst side in the division, it is the results that count.

Grafitti in Tarifa, Spain

Grafitti Artist Marco